Writers block

Writers block isn't real. It's just an excuse for not writing. In truth, I say I have writers block, but really, I don't. I don't WANT to write. But I also DO. I don't want to write because I don't want to lose everything again. I do want to write because I believe it is what I was meant to do. I think that's the reason that I have some of my wacky dreams. Because I was made to write. Those are just inspiration. Or a reason to keep on pressing on. The other day, I was really unhappy. I have days like that, days where I miss my grandma and my grandpa more than the world, days where I regret doing something, days when I just want to kick something HARD. I have lost so much, but yet, there's so much more I COULD have lost. Like my house. All my family. My LIFE. I could have died when I was born. And since I didn't, there must be something I need to do yet. I just need to put my all into life, accept that I WILL have days that I'm depressed, and keep on keeping on.