Do you ever just sit in your room and cry? Do you ever feel like nobody cares, nobody wants you? Do you ever just break down and simply want to leave everyone behind. To become someone different and unbreakable? Do you ever just imagine a life without friends, because friends let you down?
Theoretically if you have no one in your life, there's no one to let you down. No one to destroy you. No one to reject you.
Do you ever wish you lived in a big city, where you could from your old life, where no one could find you, where no one even noticed you? To live a life where no one knows you, to simply restart. Where you can be yourself, where you can change, whatever you want.

Every life...

Every life is beautiful. There is a lot of advocates for Right to Life and such saying things like that. While I am strongly against abortion, myself, I think that we also need to think about people a little older. Like teens. Teens that are trying to commit suicide.
I strongly believe that every life is beautiful. That includes both the unborn, and the born.
This is something that has been on my mind for several months, and recently brought back up, because the topic of suicide struck a little too close to home. There is a girl in my life that is struggling with a lot of things right now, and she recently confessed to her friends and family that she has attempted suicide in the past.
This particular girl is a few years older than me, and I have know her all my life. When I was little I really looked up to her. But in the last few years she became someone else. Someone she's not. Someone that I didn't want to be. And I'll admit, I judged her. I judged her friends, what she wore, and the path she was taking. But it didn't occur to me that maybe what she needed was a loving friend and most of all, God. And that is what every one needs.
Too often we judge people without knowing or caring about their story. We don't know what they've been through, and we judge them. They don't need judgement, they need God.
So what I'm trying to say is maybe we can spread the love of God, and the love for life, not only to the unborn, but to everyone. I'm not saying the babies aren't important, but if we only focus on their life while they are in the womb, they may be born, and grow up to be a teenager, and kill themselves before they can do what God meant them to do.
So I will leave you on this note: EVERY life is beautiful. And that includes you and me.

Apologies & Ramblings

   Sorry that I haven't posted in a long time. Not that I have much of a following... I've been really busy this summer, and life has been absolutely crazy. Think everything good and bad that's ever happened to you...times ten. Okay, maybe that's a little bit of an exaggeration, but I've had a lot of stuff happen since the beginning of May or so. 

   A cousin had identical twin girls, and then on the same day, a great uncle had a stroke while in Nebraska for his sister-in-laws funeral *this sister-in-law is not a relative of mine* and then within two days of this, Uncle Ted's brother, Charlie, took a turn for the worse in his two year long battle with cancer. Four or five days after Uncle Ted's stroke, he passed away with his wife, and three sons with him. Around a week or so later, Charlie died. After going to both their funerals, one of which was downstate, life started to get back to normal.

   Until my grandma's house sold. She was looking at a few condos, and then somebody came up with the brilliant plan that she should build a house on our property. We have twenty acres, so it wouldn't really be a problem for her to build a house somewhere on the property. She thought about that for a while, then decided, no, she would rather be closer to town. A few weeks later, no, she would rather be on our property. And it went back and forth. A few weeks ago, she found the perfect condo. It is beautiful. It's in town, and it's a duplex. She bought it, and the last week or so has been spent helping her move. I have probably helped for 20+ hours already. In fact, just Tuesday, I unpacked four boxes of food into her pantry in less than two hours. I was working hard. 

   And now I have a bunch of chores to do around the house, because we spent two days at her condo and one at her old house working, so I couldn't get anything done around here.

   So bye for now.

A curious memory

I remember one year at VBS (Vacation Bible School) I think 2006 or 2007, one of the days' lesson included a strange little skit that has always stuck out to me. One of the helpers crawled in to the room begging for water. "Water, water!" he cried.
The teacher finally gave him a bottle of water, and he dumped it on his hair and started combing it with a comb from his pocket. The kids laughed, and then the rest of lesson was something about using the gifts God has given you PROPERLY.

Just food for thought...

Writers block

Writers block isn't real. It's just an excuse for not writing. In truth, I say I have writers block, but really, I don't. I don't WANT to write. But I also DO. I don't want to write because I don't want to lose everything again. I do want to write because I believe it is what I was meant to do. I think that's the reason that I have some of my wacky dreams. Because I was made to write. Those are just inspiration. Or a reason to keep on pressing on. The other day, I was really unhappy. I have days like that, days where I miss my grandma and my grandpa more than the world, days where I regret doing something, days when I just want to kick something HARD. I have lost so much, but yet, there's so much more I COULD have lost. Like my house. All my family. My LIFE. I could have died when I was born. And since I didn't, there must be something I need to do yet. I just need to put my all into life, accept that I WILL have days that I'm depressed, and keep on keeping on.

Big Fitz~Anniversary of the sinking~Edmund Fitzgerald

 R.I.P. to those on the Edmund Fitzgerald.
Alphabetical list;
3rd Mate: Michael Armagost
Porter: Frederick Beetcher
Oiler: Thomas Bentsen
1st Assistant Engineer: Edward Bindon
Mantainence Man: Thomas Borgeson
3rd Assistant Engineer: Oliver Champeau
Porter: Nolan Church
Watchman: Ransom Cundy
2nd Assistant Engineer: Thomas Edwards
2nd Assistant Engineer: Russell Haskell
Chief Engineer: George Holl
Deck Hand: Bruce Hudson
2nd Cook: Allen Kalmon
Wiper: Gordon MacLellan
Special Mantainence Man: Joseph Mazes
1st Mate: John McCarthy
Captain: Ernest McSorley
Wheelsman: Eugene O'Brien
Watchman: Karl Peckol
Wheelsman: John Poviach
2nd Mate: James Pratt
Steward: Robert Rafferty
Deck Hand: Paul Riippa
Wheelsman: John Simmons
Watchman: William Spengler
Deck Hand: Mark Thomas
Oiler: Ralph Walton
Cadet: David Weiss
Oiler: Blaine Wilhelm
All Names and Occupations courtesy of S.S. Edmund Fitzgerald Online
Once again, rest in peace, 'at the bottom of Superior's ice water mansion'. (Quotation marks are lyrics from Gordon Lighfoot's The Wreck of the Edmund Fitzgerald)

Something Cool

   This doesn't actually have anything to do with writing, but yesterday evening I discovered that my laptop has a built in microphone. It is very cool, because I put the computer on a setting for being able to here what the microphone is picking up, and now I can hear the keys clicking, among other things, through my headphones. YAYAYYAYAY!

Johanna

A strange story

   Mm kay, so I checked out Writing Magic by Gail Carson Levine, and was doing some of the writing exercises, and here's one of them. The prompt was "Think of a boy and girl you know. Picture them as adults. Imagine they are forced to marry each other. Write what their lives would be like. Write their dinner-table conversation on their first anniversary."
   *This is a fictional story about real-life people. Their names have been changed to protect their innocence.

   Once upon a time, there was a couple that had been forced into marrying each other. Their lives completely normal.
   The husband was Blake Wallace, and he worked for a company called Apple. He developed new iPods, iPhones, iPads,  and more. His wife was Glory (Fall) Wallace, and she was a writer, had published three books, and was writing a fourth. On their first anniversary, their conversation went a little like this.
   "So, Blake, what did you work on today?" Glory asked.
   "Not much. Just a hologram app for the old iPod touch that was discontinued five years ago," he said, glancing up from his iPad. "What about you?" he asked.
   "I made progress on my novel," Glory said, gesturing to her Microsoft laptop. (side note: the kind of laptop is important)
   "You still have that hunk of junk? I could get you the newest MacBook if you wanted it," Blake said. Glory shrugged, returning to her potato salad.
   Blake got up, after finishing his dinner. "I'm going out to the deer blind," he said. It was hunting season, and Blake was an avid hunter.
   "You should make an app for attracting deer." Glory laughed Blake smiled, grabbing his vest.

   It's kind of short, but, oh well. Andrea, have you done it yet?

Something I wrote for English loooong ago.

   Today is King Glad’s birthday. Tonight there will be a huge banquet. My mother is the cook, so I know there will be roast lamb, salmon dip and wheat crackers, fruitcake and cheesecake, sweet pickles, and last but not least, the most delicious cheese in the world. My guess is the King’s daughters will be wearing those violet velvet dresses, and his son will be wearing his red suit. Well, I must go get my bonnet and corset from the laundress, my sister. I am giving the King a scarlet blanket and a hatchet cabinet. My father is sleeping, so I must be quiet. Farewell.

   I wrote this so long ago, and I wasn't very wise in the way of historical info.

49 questions about me. (AGAIN!)

1. High heels or boots? Boots!
2. What time did you get up this morning? Seven thirty. UGH!
3. What was the last movie you saw at the theater? Courageous!
4. What is your maiden name? This is so obvious.
5. What is your favorite TV show? Don't ask me this.
6. What do you usually have for breakfast? Fruit or cereal
7. What is your middle name? Ha ha, I'm not telling.
8. What food do you dislike? Peanut butter. (Blech!)
9. What is your favorite CD at the moment? Blessings. (Laura Story)
10. What characteristic do you despise? Bullying?
11. Favorite clothing? Purple shirts!
12. Anywhere in the world on vacation? Norway.
13. Are you an organized person? Look at my room. (NO)
14.Where would you retire to? No idea!
15. What was your most recent memorable birthday? This last one. It was awesome.
16. What are you going to do when you finish this? Watch the Olympics. 
17. Furthest place you have ever been to? Detroit, MI or Sault (SOO) St. Marie, Canada
18. Person you wish you could meet? Gabby Douglas or someone on the Women's Olympic Basketball team.
19. When is your birthday? Sorry, that's personal.
20. Are you a morning person or a night person? Night.
21. What is your shoe size? 8 1/2 or 9.
22. Do you own any animals? No, but I hope to get a dog soon.
23. Any news you'd like to share? I'm going to the beach tonight?!
24. When you were little, what did you want to be when you grew up? A writer.
25. What is your favorite flower? A rose.
26. What day on the calender are you looking forward to? My birthday.
27. If you were a crayon, what would you be? Purple. It's my favorite color...
28. How is the weather right now? Cloudy.
29. Last person you spoke to on the phone? My mom when she was at work.
30. Favorite drink? Sprite or cherry juice.
31. Favorite Restaurant? Anywhere that has ice cream!
32. Hair color? Brown with dirty blond highlights... (natural!) P.S. it's curly too!
33. What was your favorite toy as a child? No idea...
34. Spring, Summer, Fall, or Winter? Summer! I love to swim!
35. Chocolate or vanilla? Chocolate.
36. Coffee or tea? Herb tea.
37. Wish you were still young? I am!
38. Do you want to get married? I'm not sure...
39. When was the last time you cried? I don't know.
40. What is under your bed? Boxes.
41. What did you do last night? Hiked.
42. What are you afraid of? Breaking my neck.
43. Salty or sweet? Sweet.
44. Best quality you have? A good writer?
45. How many years at the current job? I don't have a job. 
46. Favorite day of the week? No idea.
47. Favorite movie?  Courageous.
48. Have you ever had a crush on anyone? That's for you to wonder and me to know...
49. Do you like finding all this stuff out about your friends? I think.